Romaji

donkanna furishite agerukara hora chōshi ni nore
saiteina serifu de motto ikari ni hi wo tsukete kure

genkai no pinchi wo honki de kanjite hajimete
honnō ga furuete atarashii jibun ga mezamerunda

omae nara wakaru hazu daro
sonnanjaa madamada urareta kenka yasusugiru ze

ikari wo motto kure honki ni naritainda
mada zenzen tannee na okorasete kure yo
baka wa bakageta yume ou shika dekineenda
shiren nando koeyouga manzoku wo keri tobashi ikō ze

kankeinai kaoshita kotonakareshugi no funuke ga
kage de niyaniya hito no koto nani wo waratterunda?

omaera sa warawareru no wa
shimetta kokoro wa saiaku no moenai gomi da ze

ikari wo motto kure riseinara jama nanda
genkai koeta saki ni shika hoshii mono wa nai kara
me ga kuramu hodo no hibana tobichirashite
naa zenshinzenrei de butsukarou ze kagayaku tame ni

mondai bakka no sekai kotae wa doko ni mo nai kara
konnan ga aru hodo tanoshimeta mon kachi nanda ze

ikari wo motto kure honki ni naritainda
mada zenzen tannee na okorasete kure yo
ikari wo motto kure riseinara jama nanda
genkai koeta saki ni shika hoshii mono wa nai kara
baka wa bakageta yume ou shika dekineenda
shiren nando koeyouga manzoku wo keri tobashi ikō ze


English Translation

I am being thick-headed so c'mon, get up!
By the nastiest words of yours, set more fire to my fury!

This is my first time to seriously feel the trouble of limit
My instinct is shivering, the new me has already woken up

If it's you, you must have understood, right?
That this fight is still way too easy

Give me more rage, I want to get serious!
It's still not enough, get me freakin' furious!
A fool can only chase their foolish dreams
Let's pass the test no matter how many times it takes, let's kick flying the satisfaction!

The cowards who don't want to rock the boat just pretend to have nothing to do with
Grinning behind at others, what are you sneering at?

Geez, you guys, making fun of people is like
A damp heart, which is the worst non-burnable garbage!

Give me more rage, a reason is just a nuisance
I've already crossed over the limit because if it's not in the beginning, I wouldn't have wanted to wish for something
The sparks soaring until they are like dazzling
Hey, with the body and soul, let's collide to sparkle!

Because in this world with nothing but problems, answers are nowhere to find
As there are difficulties, the person who can enjoy it is one who wins!

Give me more rage, I want to get serious!
It's still not enough, get me freakin' furious!
Give me more rage, a reason is just a nuisance
I've already crossed over the limit because if it's not in the beginning, I wouldn't have wanted to wish for something
A fool can only chase their foolish dreams
Let's pass the test no matter how many times it takes, let's kick flying the satisfaction!


Lyrics

鈍感なふりして あげるからほら調子に乗れ
最低なセリフで もっと怒りに火を点けてくれ

限界のピンチを 本気で感じて初めて

本能が震えて 新しい自分が目覚めるんだ

お前なら 分かるはずだろ
そんなんじゃあ まだまだ 売られた喧嘩 安すぎるぜ

怒(いか)りをもっとくれ 本気になりたいんだ
まだ 全然足んねえな 怒(おこ)らせてくれよ
馬鹿は馬鹿げた夢 追うしか出来ねえんだ
試練何度越えようが 満足を蹴り飛ばし行こうぜ

関係ない顔した ことなかれ主義の腑抜けが
陰でニヤニヤ 人のこと何を笑ってるんだ?

お前らさ 笑われるのは
湿った心は 最悪の燃えないゴミだぜ

怒りをもっとくれ 理性なら邪魔なんだ
限界越えた先にしか欲しい物はないから
目が眩むほどの 火花飛び散らして
なあ 全身全霊で ぶつかろうぜ 輝くために

問題ばっかの世界 答えはどこにもないから
困難があるほど 楽しめたもん勝ちなんだぜ

怒りをもっとくれ 本気になりたいんだ
まだ 全然足んねえな 怒らせてくれよ
怒りをもっとくれ 理性なら邪魔なんだ
限界越えた先にしか欲しい物はないから
馬鹿は馬鹿げた夢 追うしか出来ねえんだ
試練何度越えようが 満足を蹴り飛ばし行こうぜ









Better late than never, isn't it? (peace sign)

IKARI WO MOTTO KUREEEEE!!! WOOHOO!!! This One Piece Film Gold theme song from GLIM SPANKY is freaaaaaakiiiiiiiinnnn suuupeeerrrrr fantastic! ((as well as the film itself!!! gods, I was dying in front of the big screen----I won't give any spoiler, though)) By the way, If you want to use my English translation, just feel free to use it in any way you want. It's up to you to put me in the credits, though. It's not really a big deal. x
In this world, there is no absolute wrong, there is no absolute right. For me, it is just 'what we feel right' and 'what we feel wrong'. There is nothing in this world that is exactly the same. They either look alike, sound alike, or both. Everlasting is a constructed word created by human/s who is living this fleeting world, created by such creature who will never be able to feel what everlasting truly is.

Then again, is there really heaven? Or hell? If my destiny forced me to go to hell, could I make amend so I could still go to heaven? Or could I just crash the gate? Are archangels and fallen angel real? Who resides in heaven and hell actually? What humans fear for honestly? Death? Hell? Humans themselves?

Humans fight against humans. The God is dead. To be honest, I don't know who has been dead. Humanity or God? ....Or gods?




Almost every country in this world has something they firmly worship and believe. I see Pancasila as a very, very kind, the kindest ideology. It gives freedom, shelter and protection for the citizen. Foremost, unlike the other, it admits God's existence in political life. With millions of people living in this country, some of them forget, occasionally, that this doesn't mean they have to apply religion-based principles in their daily life. The government itself recognizes six official religions. This can be used by some imbecilic creatures to start a war. War can cause deaths. Who can kill humans? Humans.

One day I was on my way home from an xxx-mart. I just bought a pack of wet wipes when I met an old man selling wet wipes, too, offering me to buy one. The wet wipe I bought from the summat-mart was far cheaper. I was about to consider leaving but seeing the old man, a thought of concern crossed my mind then there's a sudden whisper: I don't like Capitalism. Not that I hate it, though. I felt weak, then I left.

Sometime in 2014, I told myself that I'd be a Libertarian. It felt right for me. It feels right for me. Freedom is a very vital, essential thing for my life. I kinda worship freedom. We're free to speak out, to work, to travel, to go anonymously online. We're free to download everything, to upload many stuffs into the internet. We're free to crush animals, to buy a human, to do organ trading, to have sex ... sex trafficking? The 'we're free to do what we want to do' is a famous defender of ... well, some things. So when I did an exploration about deepnet, either went there or joined a discussion on the surface, I found an anonymous surfer that said whatever that happens on the dark web, we can do nothing about it.

Even my favourite thing disappointed me. Human has always been somewhat of animals, and vice versa.

I'm not an expert after all. I still have to read so many books, attend discussions, and all that. But I have one question: how is a proper place for humans? If you know any proper places for humans, an answer for my question, please kindly tell me. Give me an honour to know.



On the playlist whilst writing this: Lullaby by Nox Arcana






Do you still remember that royal feline Alaska? Well, she's about 7 to 8-month-old kitten  (15-year-old in human years) but several weeks ago, I found out that she's pregnant. Carrying babies at such a very young age is very risky, of course. I was not too surprised when Alaska finally had a miscarriage. I also read an article here that it's not uncommon for cats to experience this. So, I felt a little bit relieved.

She expelled two fetuses. I felt really sorry for her.


 

~ May Neko-kami bless you, o beautiful innocent meats. ~
The discussion about this carbon trading and something about newspaper reading happened two days ago but I was too lazy to write them here because there are so many things to overthink, such as Nami's birthday on the 3rd of July and fanfic ideas for celebrating it and so on and so on.... I also was enjoying my leisure time by reading LawNa doujinshi, well, in Japanese. It's really addictive. I sleep at 4 a.m. every morning.

Now is time for carbon trading, but first thing first, have you ever heard about carbon trading or carbon emission trading before? I've tried to compare some pages to find the most understandable definition about this. Go, see this page if you haven't heard about carbon trading. It's beneficial to read. In short, carbon emission trading is aimed to reduce carbon dioxide that causes the greenhouse effect. Worth reading:

This matter was brought up by my 同い年のいとこ who is an economics student. He said that he's planning to make this carbon trading (in Indonesia) as the object of his undergraduate thesis. He firstly talked about the global warming and how it occurred due to the greenhouse effect, and then how rich countries that produce carbon dioxide have to pay "the price" to the countries that produce less gases and have forests. Or something like that. I had heard something about this before but I didn't remember exactly about this being called carbon emission trading. This idea came from Kyoto Protocol; the thing that I've outwardly learned some years ago. What a coincidence.

I won't give my thought and opinion this time because I don't really understand the whole thing yet. It's just going to make me seem ... like a smarty-pants. -_- I just have some 気になった事 here, they are:
  1. I have read some pages that say that this carbon emission trading is actually failed. きっと調査しなきゃ~
  2. There's an opinion that says, "To pay the price for their sins, rich countries do this." This article tickled me. Go, see it.
  3. It, in fact, has to have something to do with Indonesia since we still have forests to absorb the gases. But I rarely see anything, mainly in every day's medias. There's something wrong with television program in Indonesia anyway.
  4. How will my 同い年のいとこ get all information for his thesis?
After my 同い年のいとこ went home, I and my mum talked about random things while reading last week's newspaper together. Oh, this is a different matter by the way. Well, after what seemed like an eternity, I finally had time to exchange thoughts with my mum. So 満足した!

There is no greater good in all the world than motherhood. The influence of a mother in the lives of her children is beyond calculation.”


― James E. Faust





me after watching Criminal Minds season 11 episode 13 "The Bond" for the 931613th time




So I finally have time to introduce you to this mischievous, haughty, regal feline named ... Alaska! 笑

Okay, now, let's start the interview.




The first two minutes....

知らない記者 : Hello, Miss. Good evening!
Alaska : Hi there, good evening, ニャ~
知らない記者 : So I heard that you are that famous cat the writer has been talking about. Is that true?
Alaska : That's true, ニャ~
知らない記者 : Oh my Goodness! I'm so honoured.
Alaska : *scratches, scratches*




The next three minutes....

知らない記者 : Alright then, first question. How old are you, Milady?
Alaska : Six months, I think~
知らない記者 : You think?
Alaska : *purrs*
知らない記者 : Never mind, then. Hmm ... what breed are you, Your Royal Highness?
Alaska : *shakes her head* Ask the writer.
知らない記者 : I beg your pardon?
That Writer : I'm ... not quite certain. She has one Turkish Angora parent who mated with unknown ginger tabby, I guess.
Alaska : One of my parents was definitely an Angora. Mark that.
知らない記者 : O-okay, cool.




Almost there....

知らない記者 : What is your hobby, Your Grace?
Alaska : I love to dance, ニャ~
That Writer : It seems that our informant is kinda drunk. My eyes said that she always sleeps all day long, all night long, and only wakes up for her meal and shower. You can presume her hobbies yourself.
知らない記者 : Th-thank you. *coughs* So, where is your favourite spot, Duchess?
Alaska : Under a car or on a motorcycle seat.
That Writer : *coughs* She loves to sleep on an ironing board. I guess it's her favourite spot.
Alaska : You talk too much, Writer. *scratches, rolls eyes* I'm hungry, ニャ~




The last minutes....

知らない記者 : Alright, last question. What is your favourite thing?
Alaska : Favourite thing ... what?
知らない記者 : Your ... favourite thing? The thing that you love to play?
Alaska : Thing that you love to play ... what?
That Writer : *whispers*
知らない記者 : My bad! What is your favourite thing, Your Ladyship?
Alaska : I don't particularly like anything but what I hate the most are your questions and that writer. If you don't have anything to discuss with me any further, I'll take my leave now. No thank you. *goes away gracefully* ニャ~
知らない記者 and That Writer : ....






Thank you for reading.
I finally have you prisoned
From committing sins unforgivable
Trees, tears, and hearts are the judges
The virtue leads the way

Shall I be happy?

The wind blows imposingly
Bringing along agonising truths
So the judges whisper
That you are decent

Shall I give in?

You are the accused
Not knowing the faults
You are the very key
Not witnessing the outburst

You are exonerated










There was a sudden, perhaps an unintentional opinion, saying, "It seems that Indonesia has to become a secular country for good." Well, it ridiculously tickled me.


It all came from this talking point ...



... to this red-circled argument.



I've been thinking about this issue on my own. The relation between God and humans is a very personal matter. 他人は関係ない。 In certain conditions consisting of several people, the first principle in Pancasila (Belief in one and only God; Ketuhanan Yang Maha Esa) could mean: we apply religion-based principles in every element of our life. Some religion-based principles are often used to defend one's opinion without appreciating the fact that the government recognizes six official religions. The 'six religions' means that Indonesia could have various religion-based principles, depending on the followers of a (or some) religion(s) itself. This problem will never reach its end if people are being stubborn. If people don't read books. If they won't open their mind. If they won't discuss the things and exchange thoughts. I honestly have no idea at all about this ending.

I don't have the power to change a single thing. I personally think that it's fine to be secular. I said that the relation between God and humans is a very personal matter, didn't I? It has nothing to do with other people after all. In the end, there's no need to make Indonesia become secular. I can't, and I think neither can you. However, a person's right to choose to become secular matters. I love to see a person as an individual human being, as himself or herself or both, who has rights, and is not a part of any constructed group.

So, what if Indonesia became a secular country? I have no idea because it would never happen anyway. I let you consider it by yourself.





A friend of mine said, "Dari dua jam kuliah Filsafat Timur, penjelasan dosen yang masuk otak cuma bahwa  pernikahan adalah kebahagiaan konseptual. Adanya rasa takut dan tidak nyaman dengan kesendirian membuat seseorang bersedia mengikat dirinya dengan orang lain." In short, she got a 気になった事 from her Eastern Philosophy class saying that the marriage is none other than a conceptual happiness. People are afraid of being single, so they give themselves willingly to someone in a union called marriage.

Hmm ... mmkay, I think I get the point.

When I got home a few days ago, I was trapped in an unavoidable conversation with my aunts. I don't (or simply won't) remember what exactly the chit-chat was. In the middle of the talk, I said that I don't want to get married and my aunts immediately, angrily, confusedly, cut me and said, "あかん!" LoL They condemned my unfavorable (they think so) opinion. Geez, I felt like being sued. Such Easterns, I thought. But I didn't even bother to defend my opinion in the end because I'd convinced myself to do what I believe is right. I'm a contrarian in the family after all.

Eh, I have to warn you something first. Let's not talk about pernikahan merupakan perintah agama or marriage is one of God's commands or something like that. I want separation here. 笑笑

Well, first of all, I should be grateful for being raised in a family who values higher education, so I don't have to deal with my aunts saying, "You have to marry a rich man." It means they know well that I'll make my own money somehow. They only demand me to marry someone and bear children. But do they have to interfere in my personal life? Maybe yes. Maybe no. And I choose the last. Teehee~ Sorry, Aunties!

For now, I'm only thinking about attaining even higher education and doing things I desire as well as making money. If we have money, we don't have to get married. At least, that's what I believe. 少なくとも、それがあたしの信じること。

My life goal is very simple. A cliché. A bit naïve perhaps. Owning complete, original series of One Piece comics and animations, and spending my money on its merchandise and stuffs like the fuck I want are my dreams (actually I also want to buy so many books, have my private fancy library, go around the world, say "I'll win you" to price tags, get rid of famine in certain places, make a change (angel-mood) and so on so on so on..........). In short, having one quadrillion pennies in my bank account. That's why I have to be one of those rich bastards (and of course being the very top among them) who go through life without worrying about money. あら、NGワード言っちゃってごめん。._. For such a goal, I don't need to be tied up with someone. I want a freedom to do what I please.




HOWEVER



I can't guarantee that I will be doing things so smoothly. The future ... it just has a strange, magical, unpredictable power to change itself. Even with hi-techs nowadays. If I'm not responsible, I'll be screwed. Besides, there are so many possibilities in every choice. By marrying someone, perhaps, I still can gain my own freedom. I could have a free thinker, a faithful learner, maybe a writer, or even a simple, ordinary human being as my partner. He (well, or she) could be the first one supporting my passion. But there could be also a misfortune haunting me in case I'm married to wrong person or I can't take control. So, neither my aunts nor I have wrong belief and viewpoint. We're even!

I also have one more 気になった事 regarding this marriage thing (eh, why am I so formal?). I don't have time to count how many friends of mine who have gotten married young. There are so many, I guess. Or let's just talk about a much simpler matter; friends of mine who are always in relationship(s). Apparently there are still many people around me who value the 'eros' one so much, even if yes that's their own choice anyway. あたしには関係ないから。 Eheheh~

The case above got me questioning myself, have I gone too far from my own circumstances? I know there are a lot of women who feel that it's totally fine to never get married. I'm just the 84728946th female who thinks about freedom, money, and hobbies. But not here, not in my surroundings. I need to escape. Eeeh, I'm exaggerating and out of topic. But what I want to say is, people have varied. It's okay to do what you want to do or not to do what you don't want to do. あなたとあたしとは別の人間だから。





Revelation:
By going to 'this' particular university and having 'these' kinds of friends, I came up with all the thoughts. What you learn, who you get along with, that's what makes you who you are now. 笑笑 Right, right, thanks to them.


Is there standard ordering when I want to use both question mark and exclamation point together? What is the difference between colon and semicolon? How to even use a hyphen? Where should I put commas in a sentence? Do they even matter? 最近気になるから。

I always want to write a perfect writing but I do flaws in the end, either grammatical errors or punctuation mistakes. Both in English and Bahasa Indonesia. Or even in 日本語. As long as we can digest the meaning, imperfect writing has nothing to do with. We don't have to mind them in daily conversation anyway. It's not like the comma, dash, and period should be spoken anyway. We don't say it, "capital H ey comma please throw me that red ball exclamation point" or "capital C an capital I help you comma capital S ir question mark" anyway. We simply say, "hey please throw me that red ball" and "can i help you sir" which will be like, "Hey, please throw me that red ball!" and "Can I help you, Sir?" in the written form.

Anyway, the paragraph above doesn't appoint what I want to say at all. Hahahaha. What I really want to say is ... that now I realized I've written tons of pointless babbles for the past five years. I feel like a teen. I was a teen. I mean, I hate teenagers. I hate myself who acted like a teen. Eh, however I had to pass this stage whether I like it or not. Eh, but I think I liked and enjoyed this stage because I sure acted like a teenager. My previous posts prove it so mockingly. I really want to erase them (I actually have deleted some super-extra-ultra-embarrassing posts) and start all over again. But what's the point? Who do I want to impress? Well, I made mistakes, I was disgusting and silly, but ... no buts. I admit it. Tch.


See? I have an issue with this "being a teenager" thing.


I'm a normal human who will eventually die. But, if only one of them can fall in love with me, I guess I will die more peacefully.

12. Beberapa tahun ini, saya sedang jatuh cinta sama (re: suka stalking) tiga orang yang gak tau wujudnya kayak apa, soalnya saya kagum sama mereka lewat tulisannya; entah itu dari ketepatan EYD maupun esensinya. :')
34. Bicara soal fakta nomor 12, tiga orang itu adalah seorang role-player Bleach, seorang author di fanciction(dot)net, dan seorang blogger. Hohoho~

... were what I've written for "20+++ Fakta Tentang Saya" on November 19th, 2014. (WHICH has been deleted because now I think it sounds really silly) But when I said 'beberapa tahun ini', I meant it. I really did.

If you read/watch Nana, there's one character named Nana Komatsu who has trouble with having 'falling in love at first sight all the time' habit, isn't it? Well, I have that habit, too. I always immediately fall for a writer who can make my heart beat faster just simply by their style of writing. Sex doesn't matter. I don't mind if the writer is a male or a female. I love them. The writing is all that matters.

This 'seorang role-player Bleach' is one of the writers I love who has been doing role-play on Twitter for almost five years. He/she is really kind yet unreachable. He/she has a countless plot idea for role-playing and his/her style is so impressive. He/she can interact very well both in English and Bahasa Indonesia. I fell in love with his/her writing ideas. 完璧だと思う。I named him/her 'The Flawless One' eheheh~

'Seorang author di fanfiction(dot)net' is a male. I'm quite certain because I have done a research about him. Haha. At first, I didn't believe the fact that despite being a male, he has a damn good writing style with perfect Ejaan yang Disempurnakan (I mean, there's stereotype about that already and I rarely find a male who has a concern for punctuation things). The ideas of his stories are also very clever. I fell in love with the fanfictions he has been writing so that's how I end up loving him this much. I named him 'Blue Rose' eheheh~ Speaking of which, I found a new love I'd fallen for, for almost a year. She's a fanfiction writer, too. This time a female. I reaaaaaaaallyyyyyy love her. She's the best. Hahaha. I call her 'Purple Rose' :3

And lastly, what I do now is blogging so there's no way I don't have my favorite blogger. Hehe. 'Seorang blogger' is the most influential person for me to keep writing. I fell in love with this person's thoughts. I refuse to lose. I want to get better so I can surpass this person ... one day. I can't describe this person any further because, perhaps, this person is too crucial. I named this person 'The Holy One'  or simply 'This Person' eheheh~ (? I clearly know but I won't reveal it here)







I'm a normal human who will eventually die. But, if only one of them can fall in love with me, I guess I will die more peacefully. Like what has been said....


This particular 元クラスメイト is a boy in his 20s who loves to take selfies. Not like I care, though. But, still, this phenomenon (LoL) is quite interesting to be posted here. Well, he added me as his LINE friend about a year ago. I bet he knew my account from 'that' group. When he posted about his 'Weight Loss' and 'Diet Plans' I was like, "Oh, pretty boy. 相変わらずですね。" (Ehhh, however everyone has their own right to do whatever they want to do) I didn't mind at all. 関係ないから。But, when I discovered that he always changes his profile picture, his full face taken by his own, like every single day, I started to get irritated. I mean, you litter on my timeline, idiot.

Apparently, he also loves to share his love-hate relationship shamelessly, at least once a day. If I'm not lucky enough, I have to roll my eyes at his vexatious babble four times a day. It's so damn annoying. Reading those pointless, worthless statuses is a waste of time. I need to stop it. So today I decided to hide him from my timeline. Hahahaha. What a fool I am, I should've done that yearsssss ago.

Oh, oh! I forgot to mention that his grammar really sucksssss. How can he be so confident of every wrong sentence he wrote? But that's none of my business. I know.














This is time for my alter ego..........

Man, he's an actor. Seeing his timeline always keeps me entertained. Good material to be made fun of.











If the said person reads this, sorry, I'm not sorry. This is my opinion. You can give your opinion about me as well. Once again, it's not like I care. Everyone is free to speak out.
大嫌いけどやっぱり大嫌い...じゃない。あたしには関係ないから。でも、そう言われてもちょっと気になちゃった。「This Particular 女」はきれいでボディーがいい。まるでモデルみたい。そんな事なんてあたしはよく知ってる。気になった事はね…「This Particular 女」の態度だ。なぜって聞かれたら一言では難しいww 第一印象は「ちょっと悪そうなところが嫌だ」だった。







つづく


Rise and fall
Silver moon tide erased my foot prints
Then I picked up broken scales
Stuck them to my tail

Ah
If love truly makes you blind
Then I guess
There is no need
There is no need to see
I’ll trade my eyes
So you can see for me

Lulala lulalila
Stay with me
You will never be sad

I
I will embrace
Embrace your bubbles your fluids
And keep you warm

Then
I will squeeze out
Squeeze out your germs your spore your viruses

I
I will embrace
Embrace your membranes your bones
And keep you cool

Then
I will squeeze out
Squeeze out your evil your grim and your woe

Transform myself
Once and for all
Sink into the tub

Reborn
Reform
Twist my legs to one and mind to none

Tell me tell me
What do you see
In the mirror that’s covered in chalky steam
Touch me touch me
Kiss me to sleep
Cut me open and give me gills
So I can breathe

With tweezers and nippers
Trim off my fins
And forever I’ll be yours
I won’t fight or make you cry

Whatever you need
Whenever you need
I’ll be by your side

And then I gave you my eyes
To see all the colours
And then I gave you my ears
To hear all the sirens
And then I gave you my heart
To fill in the emptiness in your chest
And then I gave you my brain
So that you can learn to love

Tell me tell me
What do you see
In the water that’s clinging onto my skin
Cut me cut me
Please make it deep
If I’m covered in scars
Will you look at me

Kiss me kiss me
Don’t leave me be
I’m a bathtub mermaid
I cannot swim but only sing
Just pull the plug
Flush down all our memories
Into the sea




The image doesn't belong to me.